Communicating in Crowds

I hate crowds. How about you? Even though I have no real fear of giving a speech (because I can prepare a speech and practice it), having to mingle in a large group of strangers (such as at a cocktail party or a family reunion or a business function) is the most daunting of communication challenges for me (and many people). Give me a nice face-to-face chat with a friend or two (or even a stranger) and I'm in heaven. It's all those unknown faces milling around in large groups that scare me.

This thought hit me yesterday as I participated in the Poisoned Pen Web Convention (see my post on my other blog Subjective Soup). Even though it was a virtual conference and I was safely stationed at home in front of my computer, it reminded me of all those many conventions or parties or meetings I've attended in the past where I was surrounded by strangers.

Typically when I went to large get-togethers, I would seek out another person who looked as lost as I felt and maybe try to strike up a conversation about the venue or the refreshments or something we might both have in common. I always kept reminding myself that most people at these types of events probably felt as uncomfortable as I did. They'd rather be somewhere else, with people they knew, in a more comfortable situation too.

But we can't always avoid crowds, and every once in a while it's good to get out of our comfort zone. When you have to attend a large function where there are lots of people, here's a suggestion: try thinking about it in a new way. Instead of dreading it--think of it as an opportunity to meet a new friend. Just strive to make one new friend. Go into the meeting determined to find the one person there with whom you will have the most in common and with whom you will feel the most comfortable. Treat each interaction with a stranger as a job interview--and the job is that of being your friend. Ask questions. Dig. Focus on each interviewee. Make it your purpose to find the best friend. If you concentrate totally on this goal, you will quickly realize that you don't have time to be nervous about what other people are thinking of you. Of course, you may never make a final selection (and, I wouldn't recommend informing your candidates what you're doing), but you should have a more successful and pleasant experience communicating in a crowd.

Does communicating in crowds bother you? How do you handle interacting with large groups of people?

(photo from http://www.ehow.com/how_5169918_socialize-party.html)