Every time we speak we choose to tell the truth or we choose to lie. When we lie, we may reap immediate benefits. However, these benefits may be short-lived and ultimately lead to repercussions later on. If we lie regularly when we communicate, lying may become ingrained and it may become difficult for us to even recognize when we are or aren't lying. This cavalier attitude towards lying affects the kind of communicators we are.
According to a recent MSNBC poll, many of us believe that in certain situations, lying is justified. Often, people claim that the only reason they lie is to keep from hurting someone else’s feelings. However, this is generally not the case. Most researchers indicate that the most common reason for lying is self-protection--not sparing the feelings of others. Philosopher Sissela Bok examines the ethics and the ramifications of lying in her elegant book.
Telling the truth can be painful and embarrassing, but it is generally the best way to communicate. Ultimately, all of us benefit when we tell the truth. This is not to say that we should go out of our way to insult people just to be honest. It only means that we can be truthful even when presenting unpopular or difficult information. We can develop our ability to communicate our message truthfully in ways that are tactful. This ability is a sign of an effective communicator.
Can you tell the truth without causing pain? How have you shown your honesty while still being tactful?
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10 comments:
Nice post. It is hard to be a liar when one has to use new lies to cover old lies until truth is revealed. Always try to tell the truth tactfully.
Very well said. Yes, while lying can be used to shield other people's feelings, I think of it mostly as protecting a fragile ego from a hard truth. When we can face painful facts and accept them at face value, lying is no longer a desirable option.
My mother had a saying which she used often. That was, "The truth will out." I don't think lying can be justified and have learned over the years that eventually, the truth does come out. We can spare people's feelings by the way we communicate the truth, careful of feelings and use of sensitivity.
I agree, but I also wonder. What if a child's parent leaves, never to return. If the child blames himself, is it wrong to tell the child that the parent really loved him/her even if you know the parent didn't really care? I know this is somewhat far-fetched but there may be some exceptions out there.
Maybe?????
I tell the truth and it almost cost me someone very special. Had I lied and they discovered it later, I definitely would have lost them.
It's ok to lie about surprise parties. I think it's ok to lie, or make up a story to a child about a beloved pet until they are old enough to deal with it. (Fluffy went to live on Uncle Fred's farm so she could have more space to run and play with his other dogs is much better to say to a 5 year old than Fluffy was hit by a car.) But that's about it.
This is pretty true.. even though many people lie because they are "afraid" to hurt others.. the underlying reason is usually because they don't want to handle the reaction from others when the truth is said..
well, small lies and big lies are the same. As long as we can do protect from lying it's better. But we are just human so lying is there always. Nice lesson post here.
I try my best to be honest. At times though, like when someone asks if her dress is good, I will just have to nod my head.
It's true that even the "gray lies" as they call it are still lies. I still have to come across a person who never lied in his/her entire life.
Cheers! and all the best Patricia.
Truth and honesty are always the best solution. I remember once not telling a friend that her husband was cheating on her thinking at the time that I was protecting her when in fact it was probably true that I didn't want to face the consequences myself of telling her. In the end she found out that I knew and never really forgave me for keeping it from her.
Hi Nice Post!
Lying is sometimes justified to protect the innocent.But above that accepting and realizing the truth is more painful.
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